Life Cycles: Finding Joy and Coming Back Home to Yourself
(journaling prompts to help you dig deep and 9 tips to help you get the most out of your newfound joy, while mitigating risk)
Living a life that is life-giving, rather than life-sucking, does so much more for us than just bring joy and purpose. I believe it allows for our truest selves to come alive and for creativity to flourish and flow.
How many times have you stopped yourself, before you’ve even started? Fear of failure, making a mistake or perhaps someone else’s projected fear cementing your feet where you stand?
Well, I believe a life well lived is a life sprinkled with mistakes. Perfection [or perceived perfection] is dull, lifeless. Counterintuitive? Absolutely not. Imperfection and mistake making are where some of my best lessons [and stories] have come from.
I can’t speak for you, but I would so much rather live a life where I try things, than let fear keep me from it. Risk mitigation, obviously. I’m not telling you to take up base jumping, simply encouraging you to add a bit of living to your life.
Driving through Montana with my dog Griz to the west coast. We were living in my car, had a general destination, endless time without an endless savings, hoping for a job [that never came] while we marveled at the scenery exploring places we’d never been before. This beautiful land, once known as the National Bison Range, was stolen land by the US Government from the Salish & Kootenai people, and as of 2022 has been reclaimed by the Confederated Salish & Kootenai Tribes :) you can read more about it here! www.unrulywomen.org
Like many things, discovering your joie de vivre can have a ripple effect throughout the rest of your life and everything you do. I swear you can see it, in our eyes, once we embrace it - there’s a glimmer.
A bit of that joyous high can go a long way - as can living within the confines of what is expected of us. [I’m thankful to have the choice, not everyone does].
Although, we will never truly know, until we try. We have to take that first step towards action, hope for the best and expect the unexpected - you never know what experience could be life changing or a reroute away from our intended path.
And before you let the “it’s already been done,” or “someone’s already doing that,” or “I’m not any good at it," stop you - - let me remind you, that no-one has done it quite like you before, because there has never been someone quite like you before.
Don’t overthink it.
What is something that you’ve always wanted to try, but haven’t gotten around to yet?
Maybe there’s something you used to do, but you stopped - even though it brought you joy- why?
Is there something that you do when you’re happy, when life is really good? I know that for me, that something is cooking and baking. I get this overwhelming urge to create in the kitchen. There have been years in my life where I’ve spent almost no time in the kitchen, where it just didn’t feel right to be there and felt more like a chore or where I was expected to be rather than where I wanted to be. Over the last two years I’ve found that creative flow again. I’ve been rediscovering my desire to create through baking and cooking. I realized today, that I’ve made up 10 new recipes in the last year (over half in the last 4 months) in addition to finding excitement again in making my own vanilla, cleaning products and lotion.
This is exciting to me, because for years I had lost that desire and joy in the kitchen and I often wondered if it would ever come back.
It might seem silly to some, but whether I am enjoying my time creating culinary experiments or not is a telltale sign whether or not my life is aligned with who I am [at home and on the road] . I feel like I’ve come back home to myself in more ways than just one, and all because I began saying yes to the things that feel like a YES and saying no to things that feel like a NO, even if I don’t always know why at the time.
Griz and I elated to have finally made it to the Pacific ocean in northern California. The air was cooling down as the sun was setting, I loved the salty air and the radiating excitement I felt from the last few weeks living on the road, having climbed for the last week in Smith Rock with strangers, picked up a hitchhiker, with whom we visited Crater Lake and then found ourselves on the beach at sunset. I did not love the crunchy jumping shrimp crickets that covered the beach (I think this is what they were, no clue honestly). Photo taken by the hitchhiker, who became a friend. www.unrulywomen.org
Life tends to be a rollercoaster of experiences that bring us to our highest highs and lowest lows - sometimes feeling stuck in one or the other - when really we may not have hit the lowest or highest point yet, sometimes we’re somewhere in between.
We can’t change what’s already happened, worrying about how things could have been - will only keep us from moving forward. Instead, use that brain energy and space to imagine what you would like to invite into your life - whether it’s a feeling, an activity, dream or goal that’s still lingering in your subconscious.
Often we find endless reasons of why we can’t do something. I challenge you, to push all of it aside and see what begins to flow when you let go of all of the reasons you can’t or shouldn’t and instead begin to discover the endless reasons of why you can.
There are infinite ways to create, and a myriad of activities out there, maybe you just haven’t found yours yet - - and you have no idea who you might inspire, once you do.
I’m (red pants, green rope) leading a climb in St.George, Utah, Tony belaying me from the ground. Here, I led my first 3-pitch-multi-pitch route. My first attempt I psyched myself out and bailed. We drove to California for a few days and then stopped back on our way through because I felt sure that I could do it this time. It was windy, beautiful, sunny, birds dive bombing us the whole time, too close to their nests. I can still feel the cold volcanic rock on my fingertips and feel the mixture of fear, excitement, pure joy and relief I felt climbing and finishing this route. This area, is on the stolen land of the Southern Paiute people. www.unrulywomen.org
Last year, I began to write poetry. Feeling triggered by a television show that brought up some old trauma, the words began pouring out of me without an end it sight. I had no idea what I was doing, or if I was doing it right. Within a few days, I had a 66 page book of poetry entitled The Sacrificial Donut and I submitted it to a poetry contest. It was absolutely terrifying - both writing and submitting it - and incredibly cathartic too.
Have you ever written on paper or spoken out loud something you’ve been holding in and found not only you felt lighter, but that something within your body had shifted as well?
I find that when I write, when I speak, my hips loosen and my mid-back releases.
Our bodies hold what our minds repress.
Writing that book, was transformative for me. It was healing and once it was all out on paper, I felt like a thousand pounds had been lifted from my body and I could finally breathe, easily. The next time you have a pain, a twinge or a tightness that won’t let up, ask yourself if there’s something you’re not saying - and then get creative! Write, paint, make a mess - let it out and see what happens.
Now, did I win the contest? No, and I definitely didn’t expect to. But, I didn’t let the fear of losing or what other people might think and all of the what- ifs stop me. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, it has also made me feel more confident about writing in general and I give way less fucks about what anyone thinks about what I do write. Writing for me, is a release of the energy that I’m not meant to keep, and if it can inspire someone, make them feel less alone or even help them think about something in a new way - then that’s the ultimate perk .
Griz and I scrambling over Asterisk Pass in Smith Rock for the first time, to rock climb on the other side. It was pretty sketchy with a backpacking-backpack (impairing my ability to tilt my head back and look up) and puppy Griz- is quite the puller and the rock was very crumbly and steep. We made it, thanks to the group of strangers I’d met to climb with. They were patient, and kind. As you can see, it’s a beautiful day, I’m coated in dirt, and I’ve never been happier. Smith Rock is on the stolen land of the Tenino (Warm Springs) and Northern Paiute people. www.unrulywomen.org
We need more people in this world, doing what they love to do.
Following your dreams, doing things that add joy to your life just because you like to do it, subsequently allows others to believe that they can too - and that, is the beauty of it.
If you don’t know exactly how, what, why or when, it’s ok. Here are some journaling prompts, and questions to ponder - go ahead and write, just let it flow. You may be surprised at what comes out on paper.
I hope you can take a few minutes (set a timer if you need to), grab a pen and paper (put that screen away), close your eyes and take a few deep breaths in through your nose filling up your belly and as you exhale calmly allow your shoulders to drop away from your ears and with each breath you may notice your body becoming more relaxed - this may take conscious effort to let go of the tension that your body is holding onto.
Journaling prompts:
When life is good (or when it has been good) what does that feel like in your body? What types of activities do you find yourself doing or being drawn to?
When life is more stressful or when you feel stuck or when you’re not in an ideal ‘place’ in life, what does that feel like in your body?
What activities do you find yourself attracted to- perhaps to dissociate or distract or numb?
Is there something that you dream of doing or becoming but you tell yourself you’re not good enough or that you shouldn’t or that you can’t? What is it? Who’s telling you that? What would happen if you went for it?
Keep in mind….
Today may be a day of recognizing, discovering and writing.
Today may be a day for planning.
Today may be a day for letting go of what we cannot change.
Today may be a day of witnessing where we’re holding back.
Today may be a day of witnessing where we’re allowing others to hold us back.
Today may be a day for action, taking a step in the direction we want to go next.
Whatever today is for you, try to let your innermost self shine through, let go of the ‘shoulds’ and the rules and the expectations the world has placed on you, and see where your dreaming takes you.
Wherever you are today, I hope that you can remind yourself that you are enough, you are doing enough, you. are. [ strong, capable, beautiful, deserving… the list is endless] enough.
Topped out on a climb in the South Sea in the Black Hills of South Dakota. The rock was warm to touch in the sun, ice cold in the shade, the sticky and grippy granite is one of my favorite types of rock to climb. Tony and I had drove all night just to climb here. We slept in the Dunn Bros parking lot in Rapid City, picked up donuts at a grocery store and arrived here with plenty of excitement-energy to fuel our day of climbing. As you can see, I’m not wearing a helmet here. In all honesty… I don’t know why I’m not….I doubt I would have taken it off at the top (because of risk dropping it) so maybe I’d forgotten it at the bottom? Poor risk mitigation here - WEAR YOUR HELMET!
Find climbing helmets here. Safety is fun, because you’ll be less likely to get hurt (or die) and more likely to get to enjoy your activity again!
The Black Hills are the sacred lands of the Lakota Sioux. It’s important to recognize that Mount Rushmore was not only built on stolen sacred land, but also permanently desecrated by carving US presidents into the sacred granite landscape. Want to take action and help the Lakota Sioux get their land back? Click here, sign the petition. www.unrulywomen.org
[Mitigate Risk, Embrace Joy + Don’t Die]
As I was about to post this, I came across yet another article of an avalanche that has - most likely - taken 3 lives, almost 4. There have been many avalanches this winter, and many lives taken. Many of the individuals without avalanche training or avalanche safety gear (beacons, probes, shovels) of any kind. This is poor risk mitigation and pure stupidity of risking their lives and others.
Yes, what I’ve written about today is to help you get your creative juices flowing and to help you think outside of the box to potentially discover a dream or a desire - and then, for you to take the necessary steps to get there. I am in no way insinuating you decide to take up some new activity without any preparation whatsoever - that is how accidents happen and often ignorance and lack of preparedness can lead to death.
With that in mind, please dream, discover, and seek out in life what brings you joy but, please take the necessary steps to do so safely.
Discover your dream, hobby, goal.
Make a plan.
Take a class/course.
Read about your new-found subject/hobby.
Practice, practice, practice.
Maybe take another class or course, or perhaps a certification of some kind.
Always have safety in mind, back-up plans, emergency - satellite/gps devices, etc.
Always let someone know where you’re going to be, what you’re going to be doing, when you expect to leave and when you expect to be back - I used to have a terrible habit of not telling anyone these things when I’d go out backpacking/hiking/mountain biking, confusing it with independence and self sufficiency, sometimes it was merely absentmindedness, nevertheless tell someone.
Please, please, ask for help and ask the questions if you have them - no matter how experienced you are, or how much you’ve read - do not let ego and ignorance put you [or others] in harms way.
Sometimes people think, ignorantly, that it’s only their life they’re risking.. when in reality they’re often risking other’s as well. For example, the other people recreating on the mountain [pertaining to avalanche] and the search and rescue team.
Learn to listen to your intuition- and then learn to trust it. That truly intuitive feeling that you get, follow it. Even if you don’t know why. Even if you’ve been practicing and preparing and you’ve paid for the trip and all of a sudden you’re there, ready and excited - - but then you get that unexplainable feeling that tells you to turn around…. turn around. Wait it out. Check the weather. Read the snowpack, listen to it. Don’t risk it. Sometimes people get lucky, I would consider myself lucky in many scenarios, but it’s not worth the risk.
*Don’t forget, you’re allowed to change your mind, and change it again. If you don’t love your newfound activity/hobby/sport, pick another one, try again, learn a language, pick up a craft, get outside, whatever you do - enjoy it :)
***Disclaimer: I write from my own personal experience and my writings are to be interpreted as such. As always, you are your own person, capable of making your own decisions regardless of external influences - take no shit but do no harm. ***
Splitboarding in the Little Cottonwood Canyon in Utah. Salt Lake City is hidden under all of the smog in the distance. Recreating in the backcountry has many benefits and many risks. Please, take an avalanche course before you go, please carry your beacon, probe and shovel and please don’t go into avalanche territory alone. Here is where I’ve gotten my certification in the past, there are more options out there now than there used to be and even scholarships! Your life is worth it.
These are the stolen lands of the Goshute people and the Western Shoshone people. www.unrulywomen.org
