Going Off Grid to Come Back Home to Self.
A reminder that sometimes you have to leave, to come back home to who you truly are.
Basecamp at a primitive campground (meaning pit toilet, designated camp spot, no electricity, hand pump well for water) in the badlands of North Dakota, and although the heat was unbearable most of the time, the sagebrush smelled amazing and the views were beautiful the whole time. The badlands are the stolen sacred lands of the Oglala Sioux. www.unrulywomen.org
Prelude: The past 9 or so days, I’ve been off-grid. Over half of it, truly off grid in the Badlands of North Dakota hand pumping water, using pit toilets, making sun shelters, moving myself, dogs, food and gear around in order to stay as cool as possible in inescapable 97+ degree weather. Some of this “off grid” time was at a cabin in Northern Minnesota. Both of which, I chose to have my phone in airplane mode - whether there was cell service and internet or not, I wouldn’t know, because of airplane mode ;)
The interesting thing, is that I hadn’t recognized how far away from myself I had gotten amidst the hustle and bustle of city life, a busy Minnesota summer and being a solo small business owner and operator - until I was away, off grid and completely disconnected.
It’s amazing where your mind can go, when you’re unreachable.
Journal prompt: How can we expect to know who we are and make choices from an intuitive space, if we’re constantly influenced by what’s happening around us?
Grizzly in the Badlands, a storm in the background. The badlands are the stolen sacred lands of the Oglala Sioux.
The Reasoning
Getting away by disconnecting is the best way to dive back in
to who I am.
to what I want.
to my dreams.
and the only way I’ve found to truly come back home to myself time and time again.
We spent about an hour (or more) watching a storm roll through just north of us, it was mesmerizing. Weather has a mind of her own, and before we knew it the storm changed direction heading straight for us. We had almost no time to make camp storm-proof, but we were ok, with little damage. Don’t trust the weather forecasts or even apps, pay attention and know that it’s better to ‘over-react’ in preparation for a storm than be left unprepared in a dangerous situation. The badlands are the stolen sacred lands of the Oglala Sioux.
What Happens When We’re Always “On”
In a society where we’re constantly bombarded with media telling us who and how to be, advertisements wanting us to buy the next best thing to make us feel whole again, and are constantly expected to be reachable by phone, it’s easy to lose ourselves and veer off of our path.
If this happens to you, don’t fret. You haven’t failed and it’s best to think of this derailment as a detour to who you’re becoming and a way you’ll be able to take the lessons you’ve learned with you.
How to Recognize the Warning Flags
When I find myself making decisions out of [scarcity mindset]:
🚩fear that another opportunity won’t come along
🚩fear that I’ll miss my moment
🚩a narrow mindset that sees only one option - when really if I step back, the options are vast
🚩fear that I won’t have enough time or are running out of time
🚩fear that my way is wrong, just because it hasn’t been done that way before or other people don’t understand
🚩Or by completely changing my own way of doing things in order to fit someone else’s because they’ve been doing it for longer or because they tell me that’s ‘the way it’s always been done’.
These are great examples of red flags that tell me that I’m getting off my path or am already way off my path.
The after-storm sunset was the most beautiful all week. We got lucky with only one snapped tent pole and no injuries. Really good lessons have come from this experience! This tent is at least 20 years old, borrowed from my parents, and we were truly impressed with how well it held up. Shout out to the Forest Ranger Dan who had a hammer for us to pound in the tent stakes, without it our tent would have easily flown up and away! The badlands are the stolen sacred lands of the Oglala Sioux.
What It Means To Be Unruly
First and foremost, I can’t call myself an Unruly Woman …
🚩while abandoning myself
🚩by making myself smaller, softer, quieter in order to appeal to what I think other people want
🚩by conforming to what other people need from me or who they need me to be - especially when it means my boundaries are crossed or dismissed completely
🚩by walking on eggshells to not disrupt or make waves.
To be Unruly is to take up space, speak confidently, uphold boundaries, remember who I am and my “why”.
Move through a space and make decisions that are aligned with my values, who I am and who I am becoming.
Make waves.
Stand strong.
Walk confidently.
(Easier said than done and something I’m always working on — so if this is a challenge for you too, you’re not alone)
🌙 I created Unruly Women because I wanted others to feel the freedom and confidence I feel when I’m my most wild, unruly and in-tune with who I am at my core and unafraid to live from that space regardless of external input or criticism.
🌙 Unruly Women is exactly that, the opposite of who we’ve been conditioned to be by society. A mindset that allows us to choose us, our dreams and our desires from a place that feels like us without fear.
🌙 Because when I make choices and speak from my intuition, it feels good and it feels right in my mind and my body - and that is unruly.
Not to say, that this is a perfect way. Because it’s definitely not. It’s a lot of trial and error and learning from what does and doesn’t work. But, that also doesn’t make it wrong.
We are imperfect humans, and I’m ok with that. There are a lot of bumps and twists and turns on this road but that’s what makes the journey worthwhile.
When I step away from how the rest of the world does things - because ‘that’s the way it’s always been done’ - I’m reminded that I can do things differently and I should do things the way that feels right, because I am different and maybe there are ways of doing things that haven’t been embraced yet.
✨Not everyone is going to ‘get me’ or like me, and that’s really ok. Because when we try to appeal to everyone, we’re most definitely going to lose ourselves along the way. ✨
Wild and Griz on a sunrise walk before it gets too hot. The badlands are the stolen sacred lands of the Oglala Sioux.
One day…
if you wake up, look around and wonder how you got here.
or
if you feel stuck, lost, not yourself, or like you don’t have any options
✨ this is a crucial moment ✨
You either decide to keep going the way you're going and doing the way you’re doing…
or
You decide to recognize change needs to be made and make those changes.
Whether it’s big change, or small changes, as long as it feels right to you it doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else.
🌙 Sometimes, I can’t always see that next step or even where it’s going to lead, but I can tell you for certain that I’ve never regretted the choice/decision when I’ve made it from an intuitive place.
So… If you feel lost, stuck, not yourself, or like you’re out of options…
🌱 I invite you to take a step back.
🌱 Take a good look around.
🌱 Take a deep breath.
🌱 Ask yourself if you’re surviving, if you’re living for someone else or if you’re living from a place that does or doesn’t feel like you.
🌱 Pay attention to how making decisions feel in your body. What a strong yes feels like, what a no feels like, and everything in between. This becomes easier notice - and more difficult to go against your intuition - the more in tune you get.
🌱 If you can, go off grid. Sure, you can physically go off grid into nature - it does help. But, you can also ‘go off grid’ at home - - put away your computer, unplug your televisions, and put your phone on airplane mode, even if it’s only for a few hours a day. It may take some time (the longer the better) but soon enough you’ll find that by getting away you come back home to yourself.
I believe in you, and your wildest dreams.
Sagebrush in the sunset. The badlands are the stolen sacred lands of the Oglala Sioux.
Unruly Women is here to help create connections, cultivate solid relationships and work with different businesses and individuals that align with the mission of making outdoor spaces and recreation more inclusive, accessible and equitable and values the idea of Community > Competition. Please reach out by clicking the button below if this resonates with you, I would love to brainstorm :)
***Disclaimer: I write from my own personal experience and my writings are to be interpreted as such. I encourage you to use your own critical thinking when making decisions and major life choices. As always, you are your own person, capable of making your own decisions regardless of external influences - take no shit but do no harm. ***
